I’m typing this from my office with Slack open in the other window, pretending I’m editing a spreadsheet while actually replaying dialogue in my head from this filthy little space VN. The Pilot drops you straight into being this hotshot rebel pilot who’s supposed to be all “serious war hero”, but let’s be real: the only thing I cared about after ten minutes was how fast I could piss off command and end up alone in a hangar with a certain green-skinned Twi’lek captain and an overly curious blue asari scientist. It’s like someone smashed Mass Effect and Star Wars together in a horny blender, then forgot to clean the mess, and I mean that as a compliment and an insult at the same time. Sometimes the story hits surprisingly hard, then one click later you’re choosing if you want to make a snarky remark while your pants are already suspiciously tight.

What really got me is how the game pretends to be this deep moral journey, with “freedom” and “truth” and all that big talk, but every time I had a big choice my brain went: “Ok but which path gets me naked alien sooner.” There’s a scene early where you’re in the cockpit, stars stretching by, your ship half broken, and Liara-style blue girl is on the comm trying to “run a scan” on you. Dialogue goes from professional to horny in like three lines. I clicked the flirty answer just to see what happens and suddenly she’s talking about how human pilots have “excellent physical stamina” and I’m sitting at my desk pretending to cough so no one hears me laugh. Then later, when you finally meet her in person, the game pulls this slow build, real sci-fi nerd chat about relics and ancient tech, and I’m thinking, wow, pretty solid lore here actually, then the camera just hard-zooms on her tits and my brain resets. It’s dumb. I loved it. I hated that I loved it. Then I loved that I hated that I loved it. Anyway.

The best part for me is when you’re stuck between the blue archaeologist type and the Twi’lek pilot who very clearly could fly a fighter better than you even while riding your dick. There’s a mission briefing where Hera style lady is all business, talking strategy, but the CG keeps slipping her top a bit too low, lekku almost brushing your shoulder. You can choose the professional reply, sure, but if you pick the more cocky option she gives you this look that basically says “I’m going to ride you after the mission, if you survive.” Then the game actually makes you play out that survival, with choices that feel like they matter in the moment, but in the back of your mind you’re thinking, “If I fuck up here do I lose the scene where she pins me to the bunk and uses me like a joystick?” Also there is this tiny thing that drove me crazy: one of the cockpit buttons is labelled in a way that absolutely no pilot would ever use, like “Aux Thruster Button 2” or something stupid, and I stared at it every time it appeared and it pulled me out of the mood for two seconds, then alien boobs appeared and I forgot again. The game is horny, clumsy, surprisingly emotional in random spots, and full of those “shit, I shouldn’t have picked that answer but damn that was hot” moments that you remember later when you’re trying to focus in a Teams meeting.

Infinity Crisis Island feels like somebody ripped pages from Marvel and DC comics, spilled lube on them, then said “ok, what if all this was a horny HR problem.” You’re basically the guy (or whatever) in charge of keeping a whole island of overpowered freaks, green muscle goddesses and tight-suited thieves from tearing the place apart… unless you want them to. It’s half superhero office sim, half porn parody, and it never pretends to be serious for even one second. One moment you’re checking some fake “threat level” meter, next moment you’re in a meeting room trying to convince a towering She-Hulk style muscle babe that punching villains is fine, but punching holes in the beds again is blowing the budget. She’s standing there in a bikini that looks like it’s begging for mercy, abs and veins popping, giving you that look like she knows exactly how easily she could fold you over the desk, and the text gives you the choice between “discipline her” and “encourage her unique talents.” You already know both options end with you under her, just in different positions.

The writing leans into the parody hard. There’s a sneaky cat burglar in a catsuit that is legally not Catwoman but yeah, it’s Catwoman. She slinks around the island, keeps “losing” her mask in your office, and there’s one scene where she’s tied to an interrogation chair, pretending to be all tough, and you can switch from “good cop” to “pervert cop” in like two clicks. Dialogue swings from comic-book quips to straight up filthy roleplay. She taunts you with “that all you got, manager?” while you scroll through options that sound like they were written by someone who reads way too much hentai on their commute. There are dumb little choices like whether you sign her “reform contract” with a normal pen or with some ridiculous magic energy device that of course fries her suit and leaves her half naked, pressed tight to the screen. The game knows exactly what it’s doing and just keeps winking at you, but not in that smug Marvel movie way, more like a horny doujin artist who also happens to know how spreadsheets work.

What I really noticed is how the whole “manager” thing quietly controls the pacing of the sex scenes. You get these report screens, fake incident logs, and suddenly it throws a “disciplinary session scheduled” popup at you like it’s Google Calendar except the meeting room is a reinforced dungeon and the “team building exercise” is you testing how long a super-strong green giantess can keep you pinned while you try to reason with her. The scenes are long, really dialog heavy, with just enough game logic sprinkled in to make you feel like your choices do something, even if mostly they just change who is on top and how broken their costume gets. Sometimes there’s this tiny little stat change and you catch yourself actually hovering the mouse, thinking “ok do I want her more obedient or more feral for the next scene?” Then you realize you’ve been staring at the same frame of her flexing thighs for like five minutes. There is one notification sound that pops up every time you trigger a new “crisis” and it drove me insane, some cheap little blip that feels like a phone game ad, but I still didn’t mute it. Also the humor is hit and miss: one moment you get a brilliant line about superhero union rules, next moment it tosses in a meme from like 2016 and you just cringe and click past it. But then the next crisis pops, a “containment breach” that is basically code for “someone horny in the showers again,” and you forget you were annoyed, because the game hits you with another ridiculous scenario like mediating a contract dispute where the only negotiation tool you have left is your tongue.

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This thing feels like somebody took old Tomb Raider fantasies from a horny teenager’s brain, smashed them into a cheap visual novel, then just went “yeah, good enough” and hit upload. And somehow it works. You’re basically babysitting a very obviously-not-Lara explorer girl who has more tit than common sense, stumbling through some “ruins” that are really just excuses for her to end up half naked and fingering herself behind stone pillars. Plot is like: go here, poke this, puzzle maybe, oops, now she’s rubbing her swollen nipples because some trap sprayed her with weird liquid. Classic “ancient curse equals instant porn logic”.

The thing that hooked me is how the game keeps pretending it cares about adventure. You get dialogue about lost relics and secret tombs, but every choice is basically: do you make her behave like a semi-professional archaeologist, or do you send her straight into horny disaster. And yes, you always pick horny disaster, don’t lie. One second she’s talking about inscriptions, very serious, next second she’s sitting on a rock with her tits out, stroking herself hard because the “mystical energy” is making her extra sensitive. It’s stupid as hell, but in that cozy porn way where your brain shuts up and your dick just nods. There’s these CG scenes where her boobs are just… huge. Gravity stopped existing. She’s squeezed into that tight top that looks ready to explode, and when she starts masturbating you can almost feel how uncomfortable that outfit must be, riding up, skin sweaty, hairs stuck to her neck. I got stuck once clicking the same stupid stone relief three times because I thought it was a puzzle, but apparently the real solution was just “have her jerk herself off in front of it so the door opens.” Yeah, okay, sure, video game logic.

I keep telling myself I’m here for “nostalgia”, because it’s a parody and all, but then I catch how much time I spend zooming my eyes on the way her breasts press together when she leans over a relic, acting like she doesn’t notice her nipples punching holes in that top. The masturbation scenes feel almost too long, in a good way, like the dev was horny and refused to cut a single frame. She moans, slows down, speeds up, loses it completely, and I’m on the metro trying not to shift in my seat like a creep. Some of the writing is low-key terrible, like those weird lines where she’s trying to sound badass and just comes off like someone badly cosplaying in a hotel room, but then she starts touching herself again and I forget I was laughing. Sometimes the attempt at “adventure” gets in the way, like yeah man I get it, there is some lost idol, can we get back to her rubbing her pussy on a cold stone altar already. Still, there’s this one scene where she’s alone in the dark chamber, breathing heavy, fingers between her thighs, whispering to herself that no one will ever know what she’s doing down here. That shit hits different on a crowded train.

Mythos feels like somebody smashed together a late night crime podcast, a horny anime parody and that weird urban legend subreddit you scroll on your phone when you should be sleeping, then sprinkled way too many tits on top and said “yeah, this is fine”. You pick if you’re playing as a guy or a girl right at the start, and it actually matters, not just in “pronoun changed, congrats” way. Some scenes twist a bit depending on your body, who stares at you, who you can seduce, whose hand “accidentally” lands on your ass in the train when the lights flicker and the supernatural stuff leaks through. There is this first big moment where you’re at Lisa’s memorial, staring at a photo of your ex who got murdered in some fucked up way nobody wants to explain, and two completely different types of people hit on you almost at the same time: a smug cop with that “I’m totally abusing my badge” vibe, and this soft spoken girl with huge tits spilling out of a tight uniform that should absolutely not be legal in a public place. The game doesn’t stop to tell you “this is a choice”. It just lets you go horny detective or horny victim or both and quietly tracks who you want to bend you over later.

Sex is not just “reward unlocked, here’s generic bouncing”. You’re running around this fake-modern city where vampires are landlords, tentacle things hang out in dark alleys like drunk ninjas and one busty elf professor keeps “tutoring” you after class, squeezing your thigh while talking about mythology like she isn’t about to slide under the desk and wrap her lips around you. There is a scene at a cheap business hotel during a “vacation” that is not really a vacation. You’re supposed to investigate, but instead you spend half the night pinned against the balcony railing by a frustrated MILF who is technically someone’s wife and technically not human and technically doesn’t give a fuck. She rides you slow while the neon signs below blink and you can choose if you pull out or let her take every drop and feel that messy creampie drip down her inner thighs while she laughs and calls you a good little snack. Later the same day, basically in the same clothes, the story casually throws you into this awful netorare-ish angle where you watch through a half open door as a different woman you got close to is getting pounded by some supernatural asshole with a cock way bigger than yours. The game lets you peek, or walk away, or join and turn it into harem chaos. If you stay hidden, you see her begging for more, getting titfucked until her face is glazed and you can’t decide if you hate her, hate yourself, or just want in. And that mood, that messy mix of comedy, jealousy, horror and “fuck it, let’s suck his balls too”, that’s pretty much Mythos all the way through, jumping between murder clues, meme jokes, romance sweetness, corruption temptations and stupidly hot tentacle scenes in the dark where you swear you’re still solving a case while something slimy is filling your ass and your mouth at the same time.

This thing is basically fanfiction that got drunk and horny and forgot what “respecting the source material” means. You’re Fafnir, yeah, that grumpy dragon nerd, but here he’s not just hoarding games. He’s hoarding control. You’re poking into the bodies and minds of the girls from Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid and then some extras from other shows too, like someone left the multiverse door open and you just wandered in with a curse book. The vibe is: visual novel, click through scenes, pick a line, watch the girls slowly stop being themselves and start being exactly what your pervy little dragon brain wants. It uses AI CG so sometimes a shot looks almost too pretty and then you notice a weird finger or strange angle and your brain goes “huh” for half a second before going right back to staring at thighs. It’s messy, but in a way that kinda fits a curse story. Nothing here feels gentle. You’re not romancing, you’re breaking people down and repainting them inside their own heads, and if that sounds fucked up… yeah, it is. The game knows it, and it doesn’t really care.

The mind control stuff is not subtle at all. You curse, you tweak, you watch them crack. Tohru trying to stay loyal to Kobayashi while your influence slides into her thoughts is lowkey the best part. She’s smiling, saying her normal cute maid lines, but the text starts sneaking in things like her clenching her thighs or her hands hovering too long on places she shouldn’t touch. She tells herself she’s doing it for Kobayashi, serving her better, but it’s obvious she’s being rewired into your perfect toy. There’s a scene where you push her to “practice” seduction so she can surprise Kobayashi later, but every choice is actually making her more addicted to your magic and less able to say no. It’s twisted and horny and kind of pathetic, in a good way. Then you jump over to Kanna and the tone whiplash hits. She’s smaller, cuter, and the game leans hard into teasing and “innocent” obedience that is absolutely not innocent. She starts out pouting and stubborn, and after some curse adjustments she’s just quietly doing what you say, blushing and asking if she was “a good girl” while you mess with her body like you’re tuning a character in a creator app. I honestly spend too long just staring at how the lighting hits her legs in one CG and got annoyed because there’s this tiny artifact on her knee I couldn’t unsee. Still clicked through, obviously. Then you’ve got stuff with Power randomly showing up like someone mashed Chainsaw Man into the wrong folder, and instead of fixing it the dev just rolled with it. She’s loud, rude, and super easy to corrupt, which fits weirdly well. She hates being told what to do, so naturally the curse turns her into the kind of girl who begs to be ordered around, and by the time she’s grinding on a chair because you told her she can’t touch herself yet, she’s basically a dog chasing its own tail.

The best part is when the game pretends it’s about romance for a few lines. Fafnir suddenly gets almost poetic with Makoto Takiya, talking about “human attachment” while he’s literally using curse magic to make the girls obsess over him. It reads like those cringy Discord DMs where someone tries to sound deep before sending a dick pic. There’s also a running thing with sexual harassment that is just treated as normal here. You tell them to “act more friendly” and the next scene they’re rubbing against you in public, clothes riding up, people around kind of existing but not really mattering. The choices are often like: “push her further,” “push her even further,” or “pretend to be gentle while pushing her further anyway.” No moral out. Not even pretending. The parody angle is strong in how it pulls characters from everywhere and shoves them in the same cursed sandbox, but it never slows down to explain the lore properly, which I kinda liked. It feels like browsing a bunch of horny Twitter fanart threads at once, except here you get to decide exactly how broken their minds end up. And sometimes the CG glitches a bit or the proportions look a bit off, but that almost makes it feel more like some forbidden game you shouldn’t be playing, instead of polished merch. I tried screenshotting a scene with Tohru kneeling, looking up, her eyes half-gone from the spell, and my capture app lagged right at the good frame. Still mad about that.